You Know You’re Iranian When…

We found a bunch of comical lists online that listed off signs that prove you’re an Iranian.
Here’s a few of the best ones we found, but we thought it’d be even better if you came up with your own original lines to add to the list! 

Read the ones we have here and comment with any new ones you can come up with…it’ll be fun, we promise!

1. Your cologne precedes you into the room/car.
2. You refer to yourself as a Persian, not an Iranian.
3. You refer to every other Persian as a FOB.
4. You have a fear of being deported.
5. You refuse to drive anything but a BMW or Mercedes.
6. You refer to a BMW as a BMV.
7. You have a friend that designs websites.
8. You know all of the lyrics to either a Black Cats or Andy & Kouros song
9. You only hang out in groups of 12 or more.
10. Your wardrobe consists of black, black, and more black.
11. You celebrate when you receive your citizenship.
12. You wish Denny’s and iHOP had “kaleh pacheh” on the menu.
13. Your hair is a fire hazard.
14. You own a fake Rolex, Omega, or TAG.
15. You think you’re the first one to come up with Persian Mafia and the movie Clueless stole your line.
16. You rewind the movie Clueless to show your friends the Persian Mafia part.
17. You tell people your half Italian.
18. You find cow tongue appetizing.
19. You have convinced yourself that your eyes are really green or blue.
20. You know an Ali.
21. You have to explain to your American friends that a VISA is NOT a credit card.
22. Your refer to your dad’s friends as Amoo!
23. You order hot tea at Chili’s.
24. Your parents have a samovar.
25. You have a hooka as a centerpiece in your living room.
26. You take dates out to chelo kabob.
27. You have a Persian rug in every room.
28. You have an endless supply of pistachios, dates, and figs.
29. You go to Persian concerts for the falloudeh.
30. You actually like carbonated yogurt drinks.
31. You always taroff about who will pay & you know what taroff means.
32. You either tip 2% or 50% but never 15%.
33. You know how to flash your wallet and then put it back without paying.
34. You only wear Adidas athletic wear.
35. Your grandmother insists you eat something every time you visit her.
36. You refer to your group as Khodemuni.
37. You’re intramural team consists of all Persians and that one white guy.
38. You name your pet Versace.
39. You have gotten or are planning on getting a nose job.
40. You’ll listen to anything but country music.
41. Your parents say your becoming Americanized anytime you get into trouble.
42. You know Samad is funnier than Jim Carrey.
43. You’re parents have been here for 20 years but they still say “I like dat von”.
44. All your jokes are targeted towards Afghans and Turks
45. You hug and kiss relatives you have never seen before in your life.
46. Brag to everyone how you are from the true “Aryan” race
47. You have sudden and strange cravings for “doogh”
48. You have to constantly remind your American friends to take off their shoes when they enter your house
49. You know all the local Persian restaurants within a 30 mile radius of your house
50. You take Persian food to school or work to eat, even if it is cold kabob
51. Your wardrobe consists primarily of two colors: black and grey.
52. You have been mistaken for Mexican, Indian or Italian…
53. The last three cars you owned were either Lexus, Mercedes, or BMW.
54. You have to explain to all your friends that being Persian and Iranian are the same thing.
55. You try to get hooked up with a discount when the owner of a shop is Persian.
56. You own a Persian pride hat, shirt, or an Iran jersey so everyone knows you are Persian.
57. You have looked into some kind of laser hair removal treatment or could give a thorough review on hair removal methods.
58. Your AOL screen name/E-mail Address is or contains a Persian word.

Now leave us comments with new ones you’ve come up with or have found!